Living With Obsessive Compulsive Disorder OCD
Reviewed By: Owners
Written By: Michelle Trujillo
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a disorder that causes unwanted and uncontrollable thoughts and behaviors. OCD causes distress to people’s daily lives and relationships for up to one or more hours a day. This disorder causes a cycle of obsessive thoughts, anxiety, compulsive behavior, and temporary relief.
Common Obsessions for OCD
You have recurrent thoughts or urges that cause anxiety and distress. You may experience fear of causing harm to yourself or others. There is constantly a fear of losing or forgetting something important. You are continuously terrified by the thought of being contaminated by germs, dirt, or chemicals, and things/object need to be lined up exact or symmetrical.
Common Compulsions for OCD
You repeatedly wash your hands and clean your household excessively. You find yourself repeating behaviors that you cannot break such as double-checking things. You get the urge to repeat rituals in your head, walking a certain way or preforming an activity at a certain order for multiple times, and you need to repeat body movements like touching, rubbing, and tapping objects. You experience intense anxiety when objects are not in order or in the same direction.
My Experience Living with OCD
Since I was a child, I noticed that I had the urge to count and repeat rituals in my head.
My OCD usually starts kicking in once I am getting ready to leave my house. When I am preparing my bag, I have to double check that I have everything that I need for the day. Wallet, keys, notebook, laptop, and charger. Then I repeat it backwards charger, laptop, notebook, keys, and wallet. Some days my OCD makes me touch my objects as I repeat my ritual.
My Obsessions and Compulsions
When I leave my house, I have to double check that the stove and all the lights are off. Sometimes I have to go back upstairs to check one more time because I make myself believe that I forgot. When I lock my front door, I have to double check it is locked by turning the knob three times. There are times that I make myself drive back to my house to make sure the door is locked or my fear of someone breaking in while I am gone won’t go away.
When I lock my car I repeatedly check that I locked my door and that my alarm is on. I repeat it three times. If I don’t feel satisfied with it, I redo the ritual till negative thoughts disappear. I do this ritual because of my fear of someone breaking in or stealing my car.
Anytime throughout the day if I have a thought of something harming my family, I have to pray in my head. The prayer has to be in order or I will repeat till I have enough positive thoughts in my head.
When I am taking a test, I constantly check to see if I put the correct answer. I also spend a lot of time rereading a question over and over again. I need reassurance to know something is right.
I try to hide the rituals in my head because people don’t understand how you can’t just stop doing them. It keeps me from preforming well at work and school because it slows me down. It affects my confidence because I continuously need reassurance and doubt myself.
The intrusive thoughts take control of my mind throughout the day. It’s like there’s a voice inside my head telling to do these rituals or I will suffer extreme discomfort.
Learning to manage my anxiety with relaxation techniques has helped me take control back.
The Healing Center
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